On a serious note...

I haven't taken my medication in almost a week...believe me, it's no "Garden State" experience...I'm not truly experiencing life for the first time..it's more like going through hell.  So there you have it.  I had a nervous breakdown/panic attack at the body shop this morning.  There was crying, semi-convulsing, as people watched, shocked, unsure of what to do.  I didn't care, at that point I just wanted to curl up on their sofa and go to sleep.  This is unhealthy, so what if this is a "Prozac Nation" of overmedicated zombies...I needs my Zoloft.  I can't function without it.  See "body shop breakdown" if you need proof.  There was also "McDonald's Drive-thru breakdown" this weekend.  I'm pretty sure I made Ashley a little uncomfortable.  My apologies.  I know someday I should try life sans medication, don't know when that day will be, I always make excuses for why I need it.  Just like a smoker.  "I can't quit now, I'm stressed at work/life/etc."  I'm an excuses kind of girl, why should this be any different?  Last night, I started thinking again about my life/future, what I want to do, what I should be doing differently, and instead of at that moment taking action, I read a book then fell asleep on the couch at 9:00.  It was too much to think about so I gave up.  I just want to keep floating on, where my worries involve what I want to do on the weekend, not what I want to do for the rest of my life.  I whine, I complain, then I whine some more...but I don't do anything about it.  Why is this?  Anyone know, b/c I have no f*cking clue. 
Reagan